Chalna Zara Sambhal Ke!
Going to college saw a car parked on road side with blinkers on. Apprehending a fellow human being in distress decided to stop and offer help and guess what ! I was introduced to a green revolutionist and an environmentalist who had decided to water the road side greenery despite his hectic schedule. With a jenau around his ears he was totally engrossed in his passion even humming "chingam chabake" in 8th sur. Burdened with dilemma of giving him my civic sense gyaan or to rush for my exam I decided to move on especially noticing the HR number plate. My previous brushes with vehicles of all caste, creed, hues, models and vintage with the dreaded prefix in number plate has made jack a wise man. However I'm sure the aggression in horse power under the hoods of these vehicles is not genetically transmitted by people from the state. I have some very dear friends from the state so much so that my HOD too is a local so my being in awe of these people is understandable, isn't it?
Today Mata Road Rani had decided to educate me of some new lexicon. So "Holy Cow" took a new meaning with quite a few of them deciding to stroll down the NH during the rush hour. Negotiating two concurrent "Chasis Breakers"had moved hardly 50 meters that I came face to face with an unnecessary irritant called Red Light. Now don't misunderstand me - I'm a devout henpecked husband and don't visit any out of bound areas of any colour. The traffic signal showed red colour and I halted like a good boy. While changing channels on the car radio I was startled by a cacophony of horns from behind and fearing I had not moved on green signal looked up to see that signal was still red and timer on top showing 10 seconds to go. My second lesson in road management was shown by angry gestures by drivers of cars behind incl the famous Virat Kohli one in that one must look for a vacant slot and zip across a signal 10 seconds either side being grace available to Indian drivers.
The civil engineering marvels in the form of flyovers in Delhi never seem to fascinate me. While most drivers find symmetry in airport runway and "Fly-over" and do fancy a take off, all of them are rudely asked to check their ABS as each flyover ends in a traffic signal or DTC bus stop or a merger with side roads. Fortunately the potholes and metal strips jutting out from road dividers on both sides decelerate these Vettels and Alonsos. Strength in unity was another demonstrated lesson in today's outdoor class by a mob of JOY-walkers who wait on the road divider, some hanging from the grills till they are in sufficient numbers to give the congress symbol to incoming vehicles by a few self styled leaders and all of them cross over far far from zebra crossings. The irony is not lost on me when I see a faded zebra crossing terminating blindly in to a wall on one side and grill on road divider on the other. Do we have an equivalent of Nobel for such revolutionary civil engineering breakthroughs?
The joke about lady replying about hundreds of idiots driving in the opposite lane when her husband calls her to be careful as radio had announced an idiot doing so is actually not a joke. It's the converse which I met with at one more junction. On turning left just behind a truck I was wondering as to why it wasn't moving when he decided to give me a pass by switching on his right side indicator and moved left to park at a free air pump. Now while the fuzzy logic of turning left with a right indicator was being processed by my brain when my heart missed a beat and my car missed a couple of SUVs and ghost riders who presented themselves right in front of me. There was a sea of vehicles of all variety occupying all 8 lanes in a 4 lane road in opposite direction with drivers looking at me as if asking me "agar gaadi chalana nahin aata hai to ghar se kyun nikla hai be"..... Well how I manipulated and got out of the logjam is another story. Suffice to say the cacophony of horns from vehicles behind me and Mata road rani helped me in doing so.
The final straw which made my cup of woes full was this nice lovey dovey couple of upper middle senior citizen class in their i-whatever driving on right side of the road and despite my asking for a pass by all civilized and uncivilized methods wouldn't budge. Finally when I decided to overtake from wrong side GPS in their car malfunctioned and they decided to stop right in the centre of the road on a round about to ask for directions from the maali working inside the round about. While crossing them I thought I'll give them the look but my rotten luck, the lady gave me the full dirty one and gestured as to why I didn't cross from left when they gave left indicator asking me to overtake them. However a look at the plastic covers on their seats with a red chunni around rear view mirror indicated the fresh arrival of much coveted four wheeler in their family a la Do-Dooni-Chaar and I decided to take my grievances with me to fight another battle tomorrow when I undertake my next road journey.
Today Mata Road Rani had decided to educate me of some new lexicon. So "Holy Cow" took a new meaning with quite a few of them deciding to stroll down the NH during the rush hour. Negotiating two concurrent "Chasis Breakers"had moved hardly 50 meters that I came face to face with an unnecessary irritant called Red Light. Now don't misunderstand me - I'm a devout henpecked husband and don't visit any out of bound areas of any colour. The traffic signal showed red colour and I halted like a good boy. While changing channels on the car radio I was startled by a cacophony of horns from behind and fearing I had not moved on green signal looked up to see that signal was still red and timer on top showing 10 seconds to go. My second lesson in road management was shown by angry gestures by drivers of cars behind incl the famous Virat Kohli one in that one must look for a vacant slot and zip across a signal 10 seconds either side being grace available to Indian drivers.
The civil engineering marvels in the form of flyovers in Delhi never seem to fascinate me. While most drivers find symmetry in airport runway and "Fly-over" and do fancy a take off, all of them are rudely asked to check their ABS as each flyover ends in a traffic signal or DTC bus stop or a merger with side roads. Fortunately the potholes and metal strips jutting out from road dividers on both sides decelerate these Vettels and Alonsos. Strength in unity was another demonstrated lesson in today's outdoor class by a mob of JOY-walkers who wait on the road divider, some hanging from the grills till they are in sufficient numbers to give the congress symbol to incoming vehicles by a few self styled leaders and all of them cross over far far from zebra crossings. The irony is not lost on me when I see a faded zebra crossing terminating blindly in to a wall on one side and grill on road divider on the other. Do we have an equivalent of Nobel for such revolutionary civil engineering breakthroughs?
The joke about lady replying about hundreds of idiots driving in the opposite lane when her husband calls her to be careful as radio had announced an idiot doing so is actually not a joke. It's the converse which I met with at one more junction. On turning left just behind a truck I was wondering as to why it wasn't moving when he decided to give me a pass by switching on his right side indicator and moved left to park at a free air pump. Now while the fuzzy logic of turning left with a right indicator was being processed by my brain when my heart missed a beat and my car missed a couple of SUVs and ghost riders who presented themselves right in front of me. There was a sea of vehicles of all variety occupying all 8 lanes in a 4 lane road in opposite direction with drivers looking at me as if asking me "agar gaadi chalana nahin aata hai to ghar se kyun nikla hai be"..... Well how I manipulated and got out of the logjam is another story. Suffice to say the cacophony of horns from vehicles behind me and Mata road rani helped me in doing so.
The final straw which made my cup of woes full was this nice lovey dovey couple of upper middle senior citizen class in their i-whatever driving on right side of the road and despite my asking for a pass by all civilized and uncivilized methods wouldn't budge. Finally when I decided to overtake from wrong side GPS in their car malfunctioned and they decided to stop right in the centre of the road on a round about to ask for directions from the maali working inside the round about. While crossing them I thought I'll give them the look but my rotten luck, the lady gave me the full dirty one and gestured as to why I didn't cross from left when they gave left indicator asking me to overtake them. However a look at the plastic covers on their seats with a red chunni around rear view mirror indicated the fresh arrival of much coveted four wheeler in their family a la Do-Dooni-Chaar and I decided to take my grievances with me to fight another battle tomorrow when I undertake my next road journey.
Comments
Post a Comment